2016 - A New year .

''There is something you must always remember .. you are braver than you believe , stronger than you seem , and smarter than you think .''

New year resolutions what do you do ,  makes them or keep them or merely give up . For me I find that new year resolution resembles a chore ,  as I tend to make it feel like that. I think it’s  down to the endless amount of things that I want to achieve , but the list is as long as my arm and I don’t even know where to begin . I admit that it is easily said and broken but difficult to maintain and keep.

Therefore am scrapping the idea of new year resolution and thinking it of a self-development program which would insist of the six factors happiness , positivity , mindfulness , gratitude and self-development and finally taking chances . I hope to incorporate these six factors in my daily routine/life.

As cheesy and cliche as it seems , I am sure you have  heard this all before be prepared to skip this part .’I want to see more of what the world can offer me and what I can offer the world’.

Allowing myself to be brave enough to say yes to those things that been holding me back , or the simple things that others assume are piss easy to do and find it a doodle . Being an anxious and a shy person sometimes I overload my brain with worry and I would have to step out of the zone and snap out of it, easier said than done .

An example of this is when I do something so well it goes horribly wrong . – [anyone relate ? ] in this case putting myself down when I have been told I can do it , looking for approval or an indication I did well , like a nodding of the head a thumbs up or well done .
Take for example [import situation ] driving I know I can drive I been told I can I can pass , but is pointless if other people saying that when I don’t believe I can .

(My mind goes into overdrive anxious alert) [ like argh am operating a car ] my first thoughts was crap am operating a moving vehicle , what if something happens . Over time, I have overcome this problem I just get in the car adjust my car seat , check the mirrors and off I go .
What bugs and sometimes it still does is the fact that I drive so well in the first half of my lesson that the tiniest mistake would put me off guard .
I use to go home crying and feeling so bummed out about the whole situation because I know I can drive but I feel like I have to prove to instructor that I can. Things go downhill similar to playing a game but being stuck on the same leaving and not progression [input emotions  @#*&%! frustrating ] .

I find it difficult to say F*** it and move on this is something I need to work on and am realizing that it’s so much better not to worry about minor issues which can be easily resolved . I would have to learn from my mistake which am getting better at slowly but surely .

True to the matter you do not need to prove to anyone only do it for yourself I thank my wonderful friend Jaz – if you’re reading this I want to say a big massive thank you for been there and encouraging me when I feel low . [ hug / kiss ] . Max if you’re reading this too thank you for putting up with me and my mood swings for being my left arm  [love emotion ].
Am not the one for writing as am not really an academic person I see words and my eyes crossover ..haha am more of a visual person so I would be input pictures here and there to make this blog post a  more  pleasing to the eyes .

Blog writing is time-consuming , this is one of the major downfalls of blogging, having said this I do like to express myself through words and pictures it a nice way to express myself like a visual diary . I suppose I can sprawl my thoughts and opinions on the things that matter to me , firstly by scribbling my thoughts down onto paper and then typing it up on to this blog post that you may or may not be reading .

I honestly feel at ease and free writing down my thoughts – it kinda like therapeutic ,  non judgemental people telling you what you can or can’t do . Seeing my thoughts written out in black and white make it more factual I suppose .

I feel like I am  rambling on and on but seeing as I have been talking / typing for so long I might as well continue  and empty my brain before I head to bed .

I am writing this blog at gone midnight apologies if you spot any spelling or grammar mistakes … [osp sorry are you getting bored yet].

Anyways to take my mind off thing I do like to have a social clear out / hideout or cleanse whatever you may call it.
Not spend too much time on social / not being active on social media for a few days just to refresh my mind and body , using my brain muscles to do activities that don’t involve the use of social media .
To stimulate my brain such as taking photography , knitting , reading ,adulting colouring meeting up with friends etc.
I feel us humans can sometimes be so immersive into technological devices/ social media . Allowing social media to hijack our brains , that we sometimes neglect the simple thing  which offers us happiness.

Now down to real business setting goals and achievements – thing is how do I reach them or where do I even begin [confused ].
I really thought about this long and hard and thought why not create a bucket list . A number of things that I hope to have or accomplish during my lifetime.
I  seen them before mean and realistically some people do actually achieve their goals .  This makes me even more determined to make my own feeling satisfaction when I cross it off my list .- one down and another to go taking mini small step to reach my goals which would take time but gradually thing would fall into place .

I have realise that my self development is down to me , that no one should inflict their negativity onto me.   It would take time and it not a race of who can do it fastest and comparing myself to other which only make me  feel like a bitter person and negativity person  the whole anxiousness would dry out my brain .

This is why I have chosen to do a bucket list a number of experiences , achievements, and destination that I would like to visit and hope to have or accomplish during my lifetime  .  The nine rule which I would incorporate into my daily routine which i listed below :

9 rules which would make my 2016 consists of :
Practice self-reflection so that I understand myself
plan my life around things that truly matter with those who truly matter
Start each day with an exciting and inspiring thought
Put out things that hold me back
Train my mind to always look at the positive side of things
Learn to master the art of resilience
Strengthen relationships with my loved ones
Spend more time and money on things that truly make me happy
End each day with gratitude 

Update -- How Time files

I  haven't taken to this blog  for a while   I apologies ,  just being keeping  myself occupied with looking for a full-time job in the field of work  I want to go into photography / art media sector which  is stressing me out a little [ ugh life after graduation ].

I remember when I was little  ,  silly  as it sounds  I  tried to wished the  years away or to hurry up ,  I wanted to have my independence and to grow up [ admiring people ] .
Funnily enough  when we are grown up we want to reverse this [sighs ]  anyways enough of the depressing stuff  that the package that comes with life  I suppose .


Swiftly move on  I have some rather  exciting news to announce me and  max are .[.insert worried face] no we not getting married or expecting a baby .>haha< .

Infact we are going to going to Scotland /  Edinburgh  on March 11th  . We will  be  soaking up its historical artifacts , bracing the cold weather and the lovely scenery [ excited face ] .

We have been wanting to go to Scotland for Soooo long , [yep did you see what id did there ]  lusting over a picture from afar over the internet and through people who has already been .
Both of us are really earth like people - [tree love huggers ]nature lover] meaning that we like to be connected to nature  .  Giving  our soul , body and mind clutter free from social media .- a  social Media cleanse if you can call it that .
It would be lovely to take a  stroll along a city that we haven't been before and immerse  with the beauty and culture of the city . while learning about the historical fact and taking in its beauty , even more magical and special is that we planning to go away for a mini weekend away for my birthday .[lucky]blessed happy ].

We both agree without hesitation and jump at the chance  -  beginning  to brainstorm and  plot ideas into our little head  the journey begins -  [planning]
Edinburgh the capital of Scotland  we heard some  good thing  , I also did some of  my own research on attractions and fun things to do  while visiting ,watched many  vlogs and ask people that live in Edinburgh for  some  recommendation for attraction  ,  restaurants and fun things to do .


More planning preparation ugh all the boring stuff but most important ,we looked in transportation links  of how to get to Scotland (Edinburgh) from a coach , train   to airplane.
At first, we wanted to book train tickets and travel by train thinking that the tickets would be reasonably cheap how wrong was I   . Having seen the price of going to Scotland  by train we couldn't really justify how much we would have to  pay  for a train ride.
In addition to waking up super early to caught the train at crazy o'clock in addition to the hideous long haul journey by train .

When you can get an airplane flight that cuts the long haul journey and make it more manageable  that's a win . Having the flight booked and confirm really make this trip that much more real and something we can tick off the list .
we waited for months and now finally ready to fly off [input excited face ]  more update to come and spamming of the picture to come .

Dear readers / bloggers ...

Dear fellow Reader / Bloggers 

This is my first official post  [SCARY ] .
I don’t know what to make of the whole blogging Society  I am a newbie after all .  [  shock face ] . I don’t know what  I am doing  , but who cares right isn't blogging all about expressing how you feel . Writing about something you  feel passionately about etc .

I decided after  a lot of hesitation and a lack of motivation, as well as   feeling stress and being an anxious.  I should do something about it  [Light bulb moment ] so yeah welcome to my blog .
Writing  a blog in some ways I could get thing of my chest and share with you my thoughts and hopefully help anyone  reading my blog  , who are going the same phase mid life crisis [being dramatic here ] or a similar situation   that they are not alone .
I by no mean am a specialist in therapeutic or a am a councillor ,  I am  just me being myself and speaking from my own experiences , all my opinion are my own and truthful  . 

I want this blog to be full  of  positivity  , I will not be afraid to delete negative and horrible comments so  be civil please . [hi 5 ]

This place would    allow myself to express how i feel through photographs and words , like a visual diary of lifestyle post for example what i get up to - travels , restaurants /place of interest (etc )  in London and being an agony aunt [ technically am not one but  you get the idea] .

I Will possibly  throw in some beauty bits such as  beauty products  I  have tried -skin care etc -but am not promising as this is not my forte . Am not a makeup hoarder -  I give credit for all those beauty blogger [in love] / jealous ] who are doing a fabulous job . 

But for me am just am like the 'girl next door ' or in this case a basic b****  am not a   huge makeup wearer am really minimal  – eyebrows , blush , and lips and am done  .
However I  do like to spoil and indulge myself once in while [who doesn't everyone need a treat me day ] . 

I hope you  enjoy reading my blog posts  ,  thank all of you  for taking time to read little things like this make me smile  .  I can not physically express my gratitude through a physical  and  visual  smile or hug  so am sprinkling  virtual happiness and hugs your way.
p.s   Hoping to  engage with a lot of bloggers and make  new friends , until next time stay happy .x